TrueBlood Twitter Barbies on a Saturday Night

The lastest installment of As the Plastic Turns.

*taps microphone* Good evening all. Tonight we begin with that lovesick crazy bit.. I mean @PaleAssLorena who has just cut her child/lover

*sobbing bloody plastic tears* Oh @PaleAssBill, I love you so….even when you are lying here mutilated. *makes stab into your arm, SQUEAK*

 *plastic fang pop* I wish I could have seen @PaleAssLorena before she had that nappy used doll hair, back when she was mint condition.

 That would have been something.

 *hisses as two white trash knock off dolls open the door*
 *running out of Russell’s house with @TaraMaeBarbie* Damn I wish my knees would bend! Tara, go find us a car. *runs outside*
Although you look like you were made in a sweat shop, go ahead and drain @PaleAssBill of all his molten plastic *squeaky sobs, watching*
*watches the white trash dolls run off*
 *about to run into the slave quarters when I see Cooter and Debbie making out. Laughs at Cooters name. Waits for them to run off*
*Runs into the slave quarters so glad @TaraMaeBarbie doesn’t realize what this is or she would rant about that for 30 minutes*
*sees @PaleAssBill* BEEHL!! OMG! Don’t be like all dead and junk. I like love you. We have been through so much! *tries to bend over*
*lying on the floor, slices in my polycarbonate exterior* Suckeh
 @SookieBarbie *leers into your plastic cleavage* Suckeh!!
 *feels like melting* I ahm weak.
@PaleAssBill *rubs your plastic hairs with my non-moving fingers* We have been through to much together! Remember the toy store? *shudders*
@SookieBarbie I do, and the time I rescued you from Sid’s room. I love yew SUCKEH! *plastic fang pop*
What do we have here? My first @SookieBarbie? How adorable. *grabs and slams you against the wall, SQUEAK*
*silver melting my plastic wrists*
 *sobbing* Poor @PaleAssBill! *blogs*
 *tortured plastic wink and grin @BellesBarbie*
 *squeals like a pig as @PaleAssLorena slams me against the wall* You stupid plastic bitch. You are like a damn Bratz doll! Stealing my man.
 *growls @SookieBarbie* Could be worse, at least I’m not a Polly Pocket. That bitch has EVERYTHING! Oh and @PaleAssBill is MAHN!
*plastic fang pop* @SookieBarbie *bites*
*crawling GI Joe style across the floor* SUCKEH! *quiet squeak*
Oh no you didn’t just bite me!! I have special blood and you just spilled it all over that fugly shirt! *plastic eye roll*
*slurping, pulling little strands of nylon from my plastic fangs* PFFT! PFFT!
*Getting a fang stuck in @SookieBarbie‘s neck, plastic on plastic squeak*

 *moving across the floor, friction building up, PLASTIC GRIN*

YAY! FRICTION! BONERPANTS!

*hears @PaleAssBill squeaking across the floor*
*winks @BellesBarbie* Shhhh…..
 *giggles*

 @PaleAssLorena Great now I am going to have to get someone that can move their fingers to get this fang out of my neck!

@SookieBarbie *pulls away from you flossing with some of your hair* You taste like fine quality polyurethane. What are you?
*on the floor behind @PaleAssLorena* It seems she ran her panty hose.
@PaleAssLorena I am the tan perfectly molded made in China bitch that is going to kill you. *Plastic fierce look*
*winks*
@SookieBarbie * UPROARIOUS PLASTIC LAUGHTER* You and who? Optimus Prime? *cackles*
*shaking my pom poms*
@PaleAssLorena *distracted wonder what else Optimus Prime can turn into* @PaleAssBill in mine!!
*going all ninja on @PaleAssLorena and choking her with the silver chain, pulling her back to the floor*
*falling back on @PaleAssBill* Were you GI Joe crawling again, darling? That friction tends to happen to you *PLASTIC SCREAM, NECK MELTING*
*strangling @PaleAssLorena, wishing I had Kung Fu grip* @SookieBarbie *plastic neck motion to the wooden stakes* Damn, I wish I could bend.
*watches @PaleAssLorena fall on top of @PaleAssBill* Do you have to be soooo melodramtic? I mean that is kinda my thing.
@SookieBarbie *PLASTIC HISS/SCREAM/MELT*
*spitting @PaleAssLorena‘s nappy hair out of my mouth* @SookieBarbie Hurry up! I am a damaged toy over here!
*sees @PaleAssBill and wonders if he is having neck spams* Oh yeah. *grabs stake and tries to stake @PaleAssLorena * Damn! Too hard.

*gets out my magnifying glass and uses sunlight to melt a spot on @PaleAssLorena‘s chest* There that is better! *raises stake* Say bye bitch

*tries to look back @PaleAssBill* This is nice darling, being so close like this. *plastic smile*
@SookieBarbie *lets go of the chain* I love you @PaleAssBill, even though you are an older model, I never left you for GI JOE or Max Steele!
@PaleAssLorena That is saying something, Max Steele has a nice car. @SookieBarbie NOW! *pushes up awkwardly since I can’t bend*
@PaleAssLorena You wouldn’t know love if it kicked you in your plastic fangs!! *stakes you in your melty spot*
*screams and gushes slime borrowed from a vintage Jabba the hut toy*
 *collapses on the floor*
*gushing*
 *still gushing*
*gushing some more*
@PaleAssLorena OMG Gush much?
 *full of melted plastic and Jabba slime*
I’m melting, I’m melting…….*explodes into a plastic goo pile*
 *in worse shape than a toy in a garage sale pile*
 *trying to dig @PaleAssBill out from under all @PaleAssLorena gushing* BEEHHLL are you in there?!! Don’t worry I will find you.
*runs into cute little house with @HairyAssAlcide when I hear @SookieBarbie screaming* WTF are you playing with? Is the vamp playdoh?
@SookieBarbie @TaraMaeBarbie *standing here just looking hunky*
Who named me? Is my ass really that hairy?
This Tuxedo is nice though. *adjusts bow tie*
 Someone remind me to shave off this Billy Zane bad guy mustache though.
@SookieBarbie *grabs your arm to pull you out. Lets go! @PaleAssBill is dead! There are wolves and a headless Franklin coming!
@taramaebarbie *is still undead*
@TaraMaeBarbie He is not dead! This is what a dead vampire looks like! *holds up goop from @PaleassLorena*
@SookieBarbie *plastic goop gag* We gotta get out of here! Come on, *large unbending arm circle* I have the Malibu Herveaux van.
*realizes this means Franklin is not dead* Shit!!!!! Damn pale asses!
*still undead….and sexy*
*vomiting from all the goop* Please can we end this here. *calls someone to clean this mess up* We hope you enjoyed the show.
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~ by ssbookclub on August 7, 2010.

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